Friday, May 30, 2008

Bush writes tell all book.

In the wake of Scott McClellans new book "What Happened", George W. Bush has endeavored to steal all of his thunder by writing his own tell all book.

"What do I care? I've only got a hundred or so days left." said Bush, adding "Nucular.[sic]"

Its no secret that the bubble market for Bush-bashing books is likely to burst soon after Bush's exit from the White House in January, but conservative think-tanks were puzzled by the move.
"This guy is just a disgruntled employee who wants to sell books while he can. There is no merit to half the things that Bush says about himself." said former white house aid Karl Rove, Adding "People have been taking President Bush's words out of context since 2000. Now it looks like Bush has jumped on the bandwagon, but I have to questions his credibility. Coming out now is too fiscally beneficial."

When asked about whether or not he did this to make money, Bush denied the accusation. "Nobody writes a book to make money."

Hardcopies hit the bookshelves June 1.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Less of me.

While I haven't actively been counting calories for a while. I have gone back to logging my weight. This morning I was 212.4. Now I'll heartily admit that its probably related to a little dehydration, but i don't remember ever being this weight, so I'll take it. I seriously think I took a 20 lb quantum jump from 200 to 220 when I got to college. I really cant say. What I can say is that if you start eating veggies on a regular basis, stop regularly eating sweets and deserts and high-fat foods, limit sodas to once a week, and get some light exercise like walking 20 minutes a day, you too can lose weight at a rate of about 20lbs a year.

Now, I probably would have lost more weight per year than this if I had actually done all these things. I didn't stick to it very well, and I am pretty generous about giving myself a "special occasion" exception. So yeah. Find someone else who will brutally confront you with your own weakness and lardyness and you too can lose weight.

Monday, May 12, 2008

A new name for Global Warming.

Hi everybody. Its me. I'm back. It's been a while.
Now down to business. It has come to my attention that the term "Global Warming" has fallen out of fashion with the media and its other nurses. The less spesific term "Climate Change" is now en vogue. This is probably (and I mean this sarcastically) my favorite part of science. Start with a hypothesis, and when the data fails to back your hypothesis, change your hypothesis to something so vague that it can't possibly be wrong. For years it was Global Cooling; then Global Warming; then the more specific (surprise surprise) Man-made Global warming; and then the ultra un-specific "Climate Change"; and lets not forget the panic inducing 'Climate Crisis'. We all know what climate change is. Most people in the world experience it about 4 times a year. They're called "seasons". Why go to 'climate change'? Because Climate Change can describe any 'extreme' weather conditions including 'un-seasonable' cold. Using extreme weather to predict the end of the world goes back to at least biblical times (and probably further). I have a better suggestion if they are looking for a new name. Why don't we call it 'Intelligent Warming'.