Brain not working, Check for Bumper Stickers.

Ok, who has an ideological bumper sticker on their car? If you said "I do!" or the equivalent thereof, we can't be friends anymore. The reason is very simple... I hate you. Well, "hate" is a strong word. "I would like to kill you" might be more true.
Hyperbole aside, I really wonder about people who really love ideological bumper stickers. Can they really sum up how they feel all the time with a four word phrase? Now, I realize that there are bumper stickers out there with paragraphs on them, but thats just about 10 times dumber. Your 300 word essay bumper sticker better be about how much you hate ultra far sighted people because only they can read it. Now what does a bumper sticker really say? Many things:

• I have no class.

This is obvious because you have littered what may well have been a nice vehicle with tacky bumper stickers in an array of colors that might make Liberace say "whoa now, settle down." Even if its not really a nice car, your class value goes exponetialy like the inverse square of the number of ideological bumper stickers you have.

• I am an idiot

So, you really like Bush. Or you really don't. You are entitled to that. But if you really believe that "Bush Lied, our troops died" is the real summary of what has gone on, or "No one died, when Clinton Lied" which is one I have seen recently. Or if you really thought that Al Queada supported John Kerry... well then save all those stickers for the short bus that takes you to your "special" job, and leave them off of your car.
In general a non-idiot would understand that geo-politics cannot be summed up in less than 10 words. Maybe I should make bumper stickers that say "I know nothing about ______" where the blank could be filled with almost anything: Science, Women, Men, Politics, Music, Religion etc. This would convey the same message to the average driver. Anyone who totally agrees with you, did so already. Anyone who doesn't didn't already. And both probably have bumper stickers.
And that clever bumper sticker about how awful capitalism is? Well, lets just say I wish I had been the one to sell the 2 cent stickerto you for 5 dollars online.

• Not only are my geo-political views contrived, but I think that The Grateful Dead/ Nirvana/Rage against the Machine are the best bands of all time, and aparently these two truths are of equivalent importance to me.
  

This I actually appriciate. Its a clue to a less informed individual about the mental capacity of the sticker bearer in case there is doubt. Let's say Im driving behind you and I see your "anybody but bush" bumper sticker. So I think to myself "gee I'm not that smart, but i don't think that Usama Bin Laden or Joe from the office would be a better leader ... " But I know that I'm kinda slow, so I think to myself "maybe this enlightend soul is right?" Then I see his/her Grateful Dead sticker and can assure myself that I was correct. Neither Joe, nor Usama would be better as The President. In case i was slow to draw conclusion two, conclusion three brings me there.

Well, thats all.