Tuesday, July 11, 2006

the details.

Thank you for your thoughts prayers and well wishes. Matt left a general note for his friends in which he explained the reasons for his decision to end his life. The letter seems to capture some of matt's essence. It is written in a intelegent, thought out, generally upbeat tone, but expresses his fear, pain and loss of hope. It was perhaps matt's candid nature that betrayed the deapth of his pain. His pain was physical, psycological and spiritual. He feared gaining worldly success at the cost of being alone. He feared turning into his father. He lost hope that his pain would end in this life. He did not believe that he could endure it any longer. It pains me to think that there could be people in my community with such a burden that I might shy away from trying to share. But we all shared matt's burden as much as he would let us.
A short time after matt's death, I began to think of some other people in my life that I know have struggled with depression, or fear, or lonliness. I pray that I will have the means to reach out to them. That they would know that they are not alone. Below I have attached a sermon my pastor gave at the funeral of his brother in law after he had committed suicide. Matt was a believer. A professing, baptized christian. And a sinner. Like all Christians.
A word on beliver suicide.

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